Old Friends
>
>
> Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
> Feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
> One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and
> figured
> Maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
> For a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only
> time they
> Ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived,
> so he was
> Unable to find out what had happened to him.
>
> A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
> But one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
> Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
> He said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to
> you?"
>
> Bill replied, "I have been in jail."
> "Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"
> "Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde
> Waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"
>
> "Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"
>
> "Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
> Years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled guilty.
>
> The judge gave me 30 days for perjury."
>
>

On Mon, 21 Jan 2008 22:24:36 GMT, "tak" <takirch@frontiernet.net> wrote:

>Old Friends
>>
>>
>> Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
>> Feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
>> One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and
>> figured
>> Maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
>> For a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only
>> time they
>> Ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived,
>> so he was
>> Unable to find out what had happened to him.
>>
>> A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
>> But one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
>> Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
>> He said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to
>> you?"
>>
>> Bill replied, "I have been in jail."
>> "Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"
>> "Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde
>> Waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"
>>
>> "Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"
>>
>> "Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
>> Years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled guilty.
>>
>> The judge gave me 30 days for perjury."
>>
>>
>

ROFL

--
Scott in Florida

On Jan 21, 5:38 pm, Scott in Florida <JustA...@verizon.net> wrote:
> On Mon, 21 Jan 2008 22:24:36 GMT, "tak" <taki...@frontiernet.net> wrote:
> >Old Friends
>
> >> Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
> >> Feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
> >> One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and
> >> figured
> >> Maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
> >> For a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only
> >> time they
> >> Ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived,
> >> so he was
> >> Unable to find out what had happened to him.
>
> >> A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
> >> But one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
> >> Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
> >> He said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to
> >> you?"
>
> >> Bill replied, "I have been in jail."
> >> "Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"
> >> "Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde
> >> Waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"
>
> >> "Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"
>
> >> "Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
> >> Years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled guilty.
>
> >> The judge gave me 30 days for perjury."
>
> ROFL
>
> --
> Scott in Florida

Beyond reasonable doubt

On Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:11:08 -0800 (PST), EdV <systmengr@hotmail.com> wrote:

>On Jan 21, 5:38 pm, Scott in Florida <JustA...@verizon.net> wrote:
>> On Mon, 21 Jan 2008 22:24:36 GMT, "tak" <taki...@frontiernet.net> wrote:
>> >Old Friends
>>
>> >> Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
>> >> Feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
>> >> One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and
>> >> figured
>> >> Maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
>> >> For a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only
>> >> time they
>> >> Ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived,
>> >> so he was
>> >> Unable to find out what had happened to him.
>>
>> >> A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
>> >> But one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
>> >> Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
>> >> He said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to
>> >> you?"
>>
>> >> Bill replied, "I have been in jail."
>> >> "Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"
>> >> "Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde
>> >> Waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"
>>
>> >> "Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"
>>
>> >> "Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
>> >> Years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled guilty.
>>
>> >> The judge gave me 30 days for perjury."
>>
>> ROFL
>>
>> --
>> Scott in Florida
>
>Beyond reasonable doubt

Absolutely.....

--
Scott in Florida

Scott in Florida <JustAskl@verizon.net> wrote in
news:9oaap39agq0qfbqfejufvhaus7s67jk1bg@4ax.com:


> Absolutely.....
>


The one you emailed today about the Ten Commandments was way better than
this.

--
Tegger

On Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:58:44 +0000 (UTC), Tegger <tegger@tegger.c0m> wrote:

>Scott in Florida <JustAskl@verizon.net> wrote in
>news:9oaap39agq0qfbqfejufvhaus7s67jk1bg@4ax.com :
>
>
>> Absolutely.....
>>
>
>
>The one you emailed today about the Ten Commandments was way better than
>this.

LOL...

I liked that one.

--
Scott in Florida

Tegger, 1/21/2008,7:58:44 PM, wrote:

> Scott in Florida <JustAskl@verizon.net> wrote in
> news:9oaap39agq0qfbqfejufvhaus7s67jk1bg@4ax.com:
>
>
> > Absolutely.....
> >
>
>
> The one you emailed today about the Ten Commandments was way better
> than this.

I didn't know you were on his joke list. If you want on mine send me
an e-mail.

"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in
news:xn0flgll5302cy000@news.readfreenews.net:

> Tegger, 1/21/2008,7:58:44 PM, wrote:
>
>> Scott in Florida <JustAskl@verizon.net> wrote in
>> news:9oaap39agq0qfbqfejufvhaus7s67jk1bg@4ax.com:
>>
>>
>> > Absolutely.....
>> >
>>
>>
>> The one you emailed today about the Ten Commandments was way better
>> than this.
>
> I didn't know you were on his joke list. If you want on mine send me
> an e-mail.
>


Check your mail.

I like jokes.

--
Tegger

On Tue, 22 Jan 2008 02:33:32 +0000 (UTC), Tegger <tegger@tegger.c0m> wrote:

>"badgolferman" <REMOVETHISbadgolferman@gmail.com> wrote in
>news:xn0flgll5302cy000@news.readfreenews.net:
>
>> Tegger, 1/21/2008,7:58:44 PM, wrote:
>>
>>> Scott in Florida <JustAskl@verizon.net> wrote in
>>> news:9oaap39agq0qfbqfejufvhaus7s67jk1bg@4ax.com:
>>>
>>>
>>> > Absolutely.....
>>> >
>>>
>>>
>>> The one you emailed today about the Ten Commandments was way better
>>> than this.
>>
>> I didn't know you were on his joke list. If you want on mine send me
>> an e-mail.
>>
>
>
>Check your mail.
>
>I like jokes.

I can guarantee you will like his jokes.

BGM cleans up the formatting of the jokes so
you can copy and paste them if you decide to
forward his jokes to others.



--
Scott in Florida

On Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:48:07 -0500, "Dave L" <davelieuREMOVEME@yahoo.com>
wrote:

>
>"Scott in Florida" <JustAskl@verizon.net> wrote in message
>news:u2gap3tkq822aa68nvc6pb1sj657tbhb4v@4ax.com.. .
>> On Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:58:44 +0000 (UTC), Tegger <tegger@tegger.c0m>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>Scott in Florida <JustAskl@verizon.net> wrote in
>>>news:9oaap39agq0qfbqfejufvhaus7s67jk1bg@4ax.com :
>>>
>>>
>>>> Absolutely.....
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>The one you emailed today about the Ten Commandments was way better than
>>>this.
>>
>> LOL...
>>
>> I liked that one.
>>
>> --
>> Scott in Florida
>
>Hey, I never saw that!
>-Dave
>

Warning...this should offend just about everyone....





HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS


God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested.'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not
steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit
adultery.'

'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
'I have Commandments.'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'

There, that should offend just about everybody.

--
Scott in Florida